Have just done a Q&A for a client’s website, and it was so much fun that I wished I could do my own. Since no one was about to offer, I thought I’d just get on and write it.
‘You can’t ask yourself all those questions,’ said my son when he spotted me putting it together. My response to him was: call me a narcissist, but yes, yes I can, actually.
How do you pronounce your real name?
MorWEnna, with the emphasis on the WE (but not ‘wee’, which has two EEs and doesn’t even sound like a name).
What’s your secret skill?
I can sing the alphabet backwards.
Most unlikely role
Age 11, fashion show for my aunt’s class at London College of Fashion, had to dance to Bucks Fizz and rip off my skirt. Most unlikely fashion model (see pic).
Summer after A-Levels working in a string of betting shops around London. Don’t ask me about horse racing, but I can add and subtract very fast.
Written any books?
Yes. When I was six. It had two chapters.
What did your ten-year-old-self imagine you’d be doing now, and what are you doing now?
Artist, married to a farmer, two kids, living in Cornwall.
Writer, married to a city boy, one brilliant teen, living in central London.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had published?
My own mum’s obituary in The Guardian.
What did your five years as an expat teach you?
If opportunity comes knocking, answer the door.
Current favourite item of clothing:
A black scarf with rose-gold stars from Rise on Kilburn Lane.
Most overused phrases:
Awesome / Get off the computer / Cake?
Not driving (but I take the bus). Not being a better swimmer (but definitely don’t need arm bands). Not having passed Maths O’Level (yet).
Dream A Little Dream of Me – Mamas and the Papas.
Least favourite pet?
Caged birds. Despicable. Really don’t see the point.
Alternative dream job?
Baking. I’d have a little cake shop somewhere. My grandma ran a tea room out of her own front room in Cornwall, popular with the summer tourists, so I’d love to do that. Would eat all the cakes, though.
What would you tell your fourteen-year-old self?
No one’s looking. Not really.
The Q&A I put together for someone else was a serious business post for her website. I took the view that since I was doing my own it could be silly. Want me to write a serious one for you? Get your answers ready.